Homesickness—before I even leave April 20, 2023
Today, a wave of emotions overwhelms me that I can barely put into words. Homesickness. But how can you feel homesick when you're still at home? It's a strange feeling—homesickness for a home where I'm still sitting, homesickness for a life I'm still living.
When I look around here, I don't just see walls and furniture. I see my life, the one I've built so carefully. Every corner is arranged exactly as I've always wanted it. So much of myself is woven into this place—my dreams and wishes.
My friends are here, my familiar daily routine, my known surroundings. An entire network of relationships and connections that has grown over years. How can you simply leave something like that behind?
And then there's Michael, who in his thoughts is already living in Denmark. He's practically floating on a cloud of anticipation. His eyes light up when he talks about our future there. And me? I sit here and don't know how to tell him that I actually don't want to leave at all. That I'd rather keep everything exactly as it is.
The words get stuck in my throat. How do you explain to someone that you don't share their dream? How do you say "I want to stay" without destroying dreams?
